My Daddy

I certainly have changed since I started this blog so many years ago. That was such a difficult time in my life, and as I look back now I can really reflect on that and understand why I was struggling so much. My hero was fading fast before my eyes. My father had been diagnosed with Parkinson's. The progression was rapid. He was working, driving, paying the bills, fixing things...being our dad...and then suddenly he wasn't. This unbelievably intelligent man, that read a book every few days, played multiple instruments, could build anything, could answer any question you asked him without a thought, was suddenly unable to dress himself. Our hearts broke.
When you think of Parkinson's disease, you imagine the trembling and shaking. We hardly saw that. Oh, it happened occasionally, but it was rare. With Daddy, it started with the mask. His face changed. He lost his spark. His beautiful blue eyes didn't shine with the ornery gleam they always had before. Sometimes it would shine through...those moments were golden. His mind wasn't clear anymore. It was day to day, minute to minute. He would remember some things clearly, other times not know who family member were. He shuffled when he walked; sometimes he fell. Watching my wonderful father go through this was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever experienced.
We lost my father on July 31st, 2011. He was surrounded by all five of his children and most of his 12 grandchildren. We all miss him terribly.
So I do not dwell on those hard times. My Daddy would not be pleased at any wallowing! Instead, I turn up the music and dance. I sing along with Dolly Parton or George Thorogood and imagine Daddy smiling down and saying "that's my girl!" I went back to school and am about to finish my Masters Degree. I still want to make him proud.
My father taught me many things, the most important of which was this: live every single moment with JOY and do not wait do things, because if you do you might miss out on life.